TTWA960921

The Trouble with Atheism

No philosophy is without it's problems, and atheism has a couple of built-in ones.
To elucidate... an atheist has two choices: Life is starkly serious, or it is completely frivolous.
The serious part first... this life here on earth is all we have. It must be lived to the fullest, or else it is wasted. There is no afterlife to enjoy, so life itself must be enjoyed. And you have to work really hard at it. But this is it: right here, right now.
The Completely frivolous part: this life here on earth is all we have. It must be lived to the fullest, or else it is wasted. There is no afterlife to enjoy, so life itself must be enjoyed. And you have to work really hard at it. But this is it: right here, right now.
Well, that sure makes sense, doesn't it. No wonder I'm confused.
Actually, I have a kinda manic-depressive cycle. Serious/frivolous. Serious/frivolous. Serious/frivolous.
I try really hard to be optimistic and happy alla time. I'm a lot happier when I'm happy than when I'm not. Being unhappy makes me sad, and I don't like that.
So, when I'm in a serious phase, reflecting on the fact that no matter what I do, I will be completely forgotten in several generations. Or maybe sooner. Nothing I can ever do will make a lasting difference in the universe. Indeed, nothing humanity as a whole may do will make a lasting difference. It's a big (probably infinite) universe. Thinking about infinity is humbling. Not thinking about infinity is short-sighted. Humility is good for the soul. Humidity is good for the grass. There are no souls, and I'm not sure that there's grass, in the greater meaning of the phrase, "The grass is greener..."
I do have a major problem with stream-of-consciousness writing. It's too much like the way I think, and when I come back and read it later (like five or ten minutes later) I very seldom understand it. I wonder if you can do like, dream interpretations on it? Like, why grass? What's the real connection in my mind between grass and infinity? Or humidity, for that matter? Is there a beginning of infinity? If I can't understand infinity, is there even the slightest chance that I can understand my mind? If I can't understand my mind, how can I understand my fingers? Or the principles behind the keyboard that's putting electrons on this screen in front of me?
See how easy it is to go from being serious to being frivolous? I did it in two paragraphs. On a really good day, I can do it in a single sentence. Like this:
Life is too short to be taken seriously, and too long not to be sarcastic.
OK, well, this isn't a really good day. I had a good day once, then I realized that it was only one day of my too-short life, and that kinda changed the tone of the thing. I got really depressed worrying about it. Then I decided not to worry, be happy, god is in his heaven and all is right with the world. I never had a depressed thought after that... actually, that was the end of my thinking... once you let God in your life, thinking is no longer necessary, no longer a survival tool, in fact it's quite the opposite. Survival is no longer an option, you've lost the power of logic. You haven't survived. You might die happy... and stupid. And be just as dead as me, 'cause I will die happy and smart. But the second after I die, I will be just as stupid as any xian, or rock.
A very real and very major problem that I have with writing about atheism is arrogance. Karen used to tell me, "You have no more chance of being right than any of the others." I used to believe her. I no longer do. I'm right, they're wrong. Oh, I can't convince them that they're wrong. They would have to be logical for that to be possible, and by their belief in myths they have forsaken logic. And they may be a million, a billion, a trillion strong, it doesn't matter, they're still wrong. Every damned one of them. Yeah, that's arrogant. And true. I'm sorry, that's the way it is, learn to live with it.
And so, here I've written three or four pages, and I haven't convinced anyone who wasn't already convinced. The people who really need to be convinced... they won't be reading this. I can't make them read this. And so I'm not even really trying. If everyone applied logic to the world, I wouldn't have a chance. So I guess I'm really lucky to be living in this time and this place.
Sometimes I feel lucky... sometimes I don't.
There are those of you out there (you know who you are!{and so do I}) who will laugh at me for the obvious contradiction... here I am, all for logic and stuff like that, and I engage daily and publicly in a non-logical activity. For I have made no secret of the fact that I am in love with Karen. And love is inherently illogical. I plead guilty. Love in the first degree. So sue me. I am no more required to be completely logical than the next guy, am I?
"So", I have had people tell me, "If someone believes in god and it makes them happy, isn't that good?" and I have to look at them and shake my head. Yes, it's good that they are happy. Everyone should get to be happy. But being happy for the wrong reason... I don't know. The people who believe that the world is flat are happy. The people who believe in Santa Claus are happy (at least at xmas). The crusaders were happy when they were killing the heathens, because it made god happy...
No, it's wrong and stupid to believe in something that isn't. It allows you to do other things that aren't civilized. It lets you do what your god (as interpreted by someone else) wants you to do with a clear conscience. Of course, if you're the one doing the interpreting, all the better...