In part 2, I promised that I would resolve the terriorial issue between our esteemed members (the good guys and gals{TM}) and the lazy people (The bad people).The main side issue is,of course, distinguishing US from THEM. Of course, being the intellectuals that we are, we have no problem with making that judgement. The rest of the world, that is, those who are neither lazy or intellectual procrastinators, has trouble telling the difference.

By the way, the release of recent stastistics from Washington indicate that 72.3% of Americans in the US of A are lazy. 26.2% are not lazy or procrastinators. The remainder are procrastinators of varying degrees. Naturally, this survey does not differentiate between the intellectual class of procrastinators (Yup! That's us, folks!) and the everyday run-of-the-mill (I wonder what that really means?) procrastinators.

Therefore I found it necessary to secure funding to survey the procrastinators as a whole and come up with some reliable, rock-hard figures. Of the 1.5% of the population who fit into the procrastinator category, there are seven (that's right, 7!) of us who can be considered intellectual procrastinators. This was a vast disappointment to me, naturally, for I have almost figgured out how to make a bunch of money off of this scheme. It won't work with six people paying dues, folks. The math can't be wrong.

Therefore, as future president (whe you get around to electing me, of course) I thought that our energies would be better spent on a membership drive (More of an educational drive, really) instead of fooling around with procrastinational territorial issues. After all, we all know who we are. We know our birthdays and our cute little foibles and... well, you know who you are, anyway. And I'm relatively sure about who I am, too. We'll carve up the pie sometime after we bake it, is what I'm saying. And right now, we don't have the wherewithall to purchase the ingredients.

So, here's the deal, guys and gals: You won't have to pay dues for an entire week if (and that's a big if) you each and every one of you get six new, dues-paying members during that week. That's right, you will pay NO DUES for that week. As an additional bonus, you get to keep the dues of the new members that you accumulate for that week if you meet your quota! That's six thousand dollars! that you can put in your pockets NEXT WEEK! Is that a deal, or what? And (This is the best part!) as an incentive to joining, each of the new members gets the same deal that you do if they can recruit another six people! Is this easy, or what?

An additional note: this HAS GOT TO BE FUN! If you can't make it fun, you will have to put it off and you won't be able to make the cut. If you don't make it fun, and you do it anyway, all of your rights and privledges as a member of this group will be suspended pending further review. Of course, dues will still be payable, and your status will be determined as soon as I can get around to it.

There are two more issues to be discussed today. The first is the dues: I've heard rumors that they're a bit high. To this, I say "Pah! you get what you pay for!" The second issue is how to persuade people to join with us in this procrastinational freedom movement that is intended only for the good of our country and its' wonderful citizens.

Issue #1: Dues rates. OK, they're a bit high. However, we have some very high standards to meet. High standards = high dollars. Any Harvard MBA can tell you that. And I have to maintain those standards impeccably...yes, impeccably! Surely you wouldn't expect me to do that on a measly 100 bucks a year per, would you? I not only have to maintain those standards but, as the electorate has indicated, or at any rate will indicate, pretty soon now, our society is expected to grow, and I will have to spend a lot of my very own time hiring curvatious secretaries and suchlike tasks. And isn't my time worth something? Whose idea was this, anyway? Not yours! It was MINE! And I can not and will not let my people down! And thats Final!

This discussion and all of the contention has really gotten me down. We'll take up issue #2 at a later date. I really do appreciate your patience...

Thanx for Being!(here, and now...)