The Great Intellectual Society of Procrastinators (American),also known as GISPA HAH! So, you thought that we had this subject covered, didja? No Way! We're only getting started. There have to be some rules, you know. And I'm the one gets to make up the rules, since you'll vote me in as president when you get around to it. Therefore... Rule #1. Tomorrow will be a better day for making rules. Rule #2. See rule #1. Boy, I'm glad that's taken care of! Now we can get on to better things. Such as what to procrastinate about. We must be very careful about the choices that we make in this life, and this is one of the, if not The most important choice. No, we can't just willy-nilly procrastinate without thinking about it, now can we? After all, we're intellectual procrastinators, we must have some standards. These are different than rules, in that they cannot be put off. Ignored, perhaps. We each and every one of us have a vision in our minds about what we really want to be in this life. Like, what degree of coolity of you want to maintain? Do you want to have two different degrees of cool, one for family & friends, one for work? If you do, is there to be any slippage between the two? These are things that you probably subconsciously decided years ago. You need to drag them out and look at them. Whether or not the world knows it, cool is measured in the things that a person procrastinates about. If you procrastinate about brushing your teeth, the world will think you're lazy. I'll think you're lazy. HEY! I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY! Damned lazy people, anyway! Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Ignoring matters of personal hygiene is generally and specifically regarded as lazy, unless you are a qualified crazy person. Procrastinating about putting on clothes before you go to work is somewhat cool, but will likely get you institutionalized. That's not cool. Not paying your bills on time... that's way cool. As long as you can pay them, but just don't. If you're broke and can't pay them, you must be just lazy. Never procrastinate about fun things. Especially sex. Tomorrow might never come, you never know. Procrastinating about fun things puts you in the DUMB category, and this is an intellectual procrastination society thing. See how that doesn't work? If you're DUMB get on outa here. Follow the lazy people, please. Let's see, sex, eating, drinking (non-alcoholic stuff, of course), computing... don't procrastinate about these things. Playing with kids and grandkids, too. Priorities! There are, of course, no hard and fast rules (see rule #2) but you do have to use a great deal of wisdom when setting your procrastional priorities. Say, for instance, that your girlfriend gets naked and approaches you while you're computing. She's obviously wanting sex. What a quandry! What do you do? Well, it really depends on several things. Is this your regular girlfriend? Is your wife around anywhere? Are you in the middle of playing Doom, or did you just die? Are you on the net reading this page right now? You have to have the intellectual capacity to put this all together in milliseconds and make a decision. Girlfriends don't like to be kept waiting. You obviously can't even let it look like you're making a decision or you're in deep shit. You must quickly say no or go with the flow. (wow, what poetry!) If you're paying bills using Quicken, there's a no-brainer. These are unusual circumstances, of course. Normally the decision tree will be more like this: Play Wordstalk pay bills Another obvious no-brainer. Most of our procrastinational priorities are no-brainers, but we cannot allow ourselves to relax too much, lest we be caught unawares. A sloppy decision at a crucial time may remove you from my mailing list, and get you into all kinds of other trouble. Several weeks ago, I actually made a decision that I promptly regretted. I thought that this was going to be a fun thing to do, but I was wrong. It wasn't, and I almost wound up looking...lazy. I said almost! But it was very hard redeeming myself. I was caught at a weak moment and, instead of reflecting on how it would actually work out, I said to my wife, "Sure, I can clean the kitchen!" I was able to save face by not mopping the floor or taking out the trash, but it was a close thing. I know, as your leader, that I shouldn't show you my weaknesses, but I needed a good example to help you stay on your toes. Many of you are probably novices at this, and when you elect me, you will expect me to point out your faults and the pitfalls that you will inevitably encounter along the way to intellectual procrastination. By exposing myself as not quite perfect, I expect you to try to do better. As members of The Great Intellectual Society of Procrastinators (American),also known as GISPA, your standards must necessarily be the highest in the world! And I will continue to set an excellent example as the First among Equals. Even though, in this respect, I have never met an equal.... Thanx for Being!(As if you really were...)