I've been asked frequently, "Why don't you put up a list of Frequently Asked Questions?" The correct answer is, "Because that's the only question I've ever been asked", but that's too simple. So here it is.
- Is your wife as wonderful as you make her out to be?
She is a veritable goddess.
- Why do you think you're so goddamned smart?
My wife tells me so. And it's genetic.
- Why do you live in a podunk like Topeka?
I'm a centerist.
- What makes you think your grandaughter is the prettiest girl in the world?
It's obvious. Look at her pictures. If you don't agree, then 1) get the hell off my page and/or 2) go to hell. (Wow, I was nicer about that than I wanted to be...)
- Who told you that you could write poetry?
My mother said I could do anything I wanted to do when I grew up.
- What makes you think that people are interested in your daily doings?
What makes you think I'm interested in your opinion? No, wait, that's pretty defensive. Real answer: I don't know. But I'm interested in other people's daily doings... so why not?
- Why isn't this a longer list?
Because I try to explain everything in my journal. It must be working, nobody ever asks me anything.
- Nilknarf! is really a stupid name for anything!
OK.
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