ARCHIVES - 1996 to FOREVER

I went to bed at 20:00 or so... didn't get to sleep, though. Karen came to bed, and I got up after a few minutes of snuggling; she went immediately to sleep.

I went back to bed about 23:00, and I was almost asleep at 23:59 when the phone rang.

I went in and did one patient and got home about 01:30.

I took a shower and fiddled around until I thought I could sleep, about 02:00... that didn't work.

Got up and fiddled around until about 04:00, went to bed to try again.

And I was just barely asleep, if that, when the alarm went off at 06:30.

Snoozebarred until 07:03... got up, got dressed and went to work.

And we had the busiest day that we have ever had, bar none.

And I was the runner, and I ran... I hit about 25 veins, missed one but got it on the next try.

19:54....
Doing a lot of thinking, as I am wont to do after extended periods of not sleeping....

I need to start a blog, and it will be:nilknarf:ideological explorations.

And I cannot really separate my daily thoughts from my daily life here: they are one and the same.

And right now, on this plane of existence, Karen is pissed at me, ' cause I have chosen to drink alcohol.

And I agree with her on one point: alcohol should not be necessary.

But it's what I know, it's what works.

It's what allows me to live, both intellectually and morally.

And I cannot connect, except for the booze.

And yes, that is very sad.

But I am a very sad person.

And yeah, that is hard to figger out from my daily posts.

You have to know the pain.

Not Karen's pain, not the pain that anyone can assign to Karen, not the pain that you can assign to anyone....

The pain that is being a human in a world that is very inhumane.

The pain that is knowing that certain people enjoy the pain of others, that torture of another human being is....fun.

The world is full of assholes, and they are becoming quite evident.

Kill the motherfuckers... is the usual response.

Not a bad one.

What can we do?

I'm asking.

Me, I'm quite happy here in Kansas. Well, except of the fact that the love of my life is stage 4... I'm happy.

And I think that... I have to get to sleep... and if you have any doubt... yes,. I love you.

Yep, all of you. After all, I'm a Democrat...