Nilknarf News
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I awoke about 05:30, and then slept until about 10:00. I went into the bathroom, and when I went to go back to bed, Karen had gotten up and gone upstairs. I made coffee and got the paper in, and Karen had gotten a coupla calls from Lacee... she was going out to pick out her first Prom dress, and wanted Karen to go with her, of course. And karen really wanted to go, naturally. But a half-hour later, Karen came into my room crying; she knew that she didn't have the energy to go with Lacee, and this was something that she really wanted to do. This is so fucking hard... is it the chemo, or the cancer? We'll find out tomorrow. How can you say goodbye? How long can this go on before Karen When is there just no hope for the situation? I still have the hope. Karen is losing the hope. I have to give her the hope back, no matter how I feel. Because, y'know, I could be wrong. We'll find out tomorrow. If the cancer has regressed, there is hope. And it will have been worth it....
the endings are saccherine...
savored, forgotten.
just says, "Fuck it, I want to just die?"
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