ARCHIVES - 1996 to FOREVER

I was the runner today. and I did pretty good. But the tail end of the day I was petering out; so I left at 16:00.

And there's not really much else to say about the day.

But there's a lot to say about life.

Ever since I was a youngster, I've been really shy. Afraid to toot my own horn, thinking other people didn't like me, constantly thinking that I was inferior.

Gradually I've been growing out of that as I begin to know more people.

This is generally a process that you start in grade school and finish in junior high school.

I didn't.

I still put people on pedestals... Karen, for one example.

My friend Jess.

My Mother.

My friend Ginny.

They're not people... they're gods to me.

And I need to mention Sarah and Annette and Lisa.

And me? I'm an atheist.

And that's not right. They know that it's not right, and I know that it's not right... but there it is.

some people are just stupid... and some aren't.

And I'm not really sure how I fit in there.

I know that I live and breathe and eat and shit; everyone does.

But there is something beyond that.

Something worthy, perhaps, of worship.

The human spirit?

The universe?

The collective mind of man?

We have so little time, and such little minds, dammit.

Expand, expand... then contract, and tell me what it is.