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And I was in the scan room today, and the morning just flew by... lotsa nice patients, no time at all between patients, the table was warm all morning... until about 12:30.

Our last scheduled patient was at 13:00... we had a coupla in-patients and an add-on, but by 14:30 we were done.

My counterpart for the early shift left about 15:00... and I held out until 15:45. I really hate being bored above all else.

And I escaped some really strong cigar fits tonight... man, I can't believe the intensity of these urges.

Somewhere, deep down, I'm really resentful that I have to quit smoking. Yeah, it's my choice, I know that, and I've made it. But I really did enjoy smoking, especially after I started this last time, just smoking cigars. I could care less about cigarettes, those puny things. Just give me a nice, smooth cigar and I'm happy as a pig in shit.

However, I know that it's bad for my heart... the increase in PVCs when I smoke a cigar is a dead giveaway, heh. But... a small price to pay for the pleasure? I dunno, dammit. It's a toss-up... I wish that it were more clear-cut, but it ain't.

I talked to my cardiologist's nurse today, wondering about which drugs I need to quit taking for the sotalol regimen... she checked with the doc and said just keep taking everything that I'm taking. I'm taking five pills a day to just control my blood pressure, and I was kinda hoping to take a cut on those, but no, it's a completely different thing.

On a bright note, I've decided that it's now time that I can start wearing sandals to work again... yeah, I'm about a week late, I guess.

and even though I only really had about five hours of being on my feet, my legs are killing me, and I'm just tired as hell in general.

And I'm really looking forward to feeling better.

And I'm really worried that I'm putting too much faith into this... and that it won't make me feel any better, it'll just keep me alive. And I want to feel better, as long as I'm gonna be alive... it's not really worth it otherwise.