ARCHIVES - 1996 to FOREVER

And I was theoretically on the console today, heh.

The cardiologist's office nurse called me about 17:00... the doc who had put in the pacer (Thor) is out of the office for two weeks, and he's the only one who can set this up, heh. So I'm stuck in this groove for two weeks.

And I don't like this groove much, but I can do it.

But just barely, I'm afraid.

I seem to have, in the last month or two, degenerated in my will to continue. The fatigue has been building and building... and I'm just tard. Damned tard.

I can sit and read, or type, just OK. Almost anything that requires physical exertion is a trial.

Reagrdless, after I got home tonight, I build a tendoning jog for the table say. Happily, my deceased father-in-law provided the wood and the works... the drawer assembly of a stereo cabinet that he build in 1960 or so. I just had to do some thinking and trimming, which I am perfectly capable of, heh.

Right now, I'm relatively enthusiastic about woodworking... I've been doing a lot of reading, and I know a lot about taking the tedium out of it.

Just talked to Karen, she didn't have the Lasik surgery done today, 'cause she's got cataracts in both eyes, the left greater than the right. And the happy thing about that is that cataract surgery is paid of with the insurance.

So she and Kim are shopping in KC right now.

And I'm feeling pretty good about our future, for some reason or another.

19:51....
Sober reflection does not appear to be much of my life lately as I write, but it is as I live it.

I am acutely aware of every physical movement that I make, every decision that I make, every path that I take.

I am acutely aware....

Philosophically, I am taking the measure of my life.

The parts that I enjoy, the parts that I don't enjoy.

The parts that feel good, and the parts that feel bad.

Physically inventoried, I really don't have that much, from some aspects.

I really don't care that much about that.

Many years ago, I decided that I was not going to measure my life that way.

That has been a wise and sound decision.

Neglected, however, has been the physically sound side of it.

Yeah, when I retire, it will be the government-sponsored social-security system that will provide me with the means to live.

And even that will be touch-and-go, heh.

On a wholly different subject (yeah, I need to get away from what I'm talking about) I have begin aplying duct tape and a band-aid to my finger that has the wart on it. I think that I gave up two weeks too soon. There was still a small bump there when I stopped covering it with tape, and it's now grown back. Warts are virii, and I hate them. Stand notice, virii... I hate you all!