ARCHIVES - 1996 to FOREVER

I'm off call now finally.

Got a good, good night's sleep. The phone woke me up about 09:55, ti was the hospital, of course, went in a did a few patients. Then I did a few more.

Came home about 13:30, stopped by the florists and got Karen some roses. Got paged as soon as I got home... went back and did a coupla more patients.

Came home again to an empty house, so I called Karen... she was on her way home, bringing Patrick with her, he wanted to take a shower. She took him home, and I got a call from the hospital. The tech doing CTs needed a little coaching on a complicated exam, so I talked him through it.

I was sitting at the piano (getting tired of calling it a music keyboard, as distinguished from the computer keyboard) and playing... and thinking... and I got up and went in to the hospital.

I thought that maybe I'd better watch him as he did it, heh. Yep, afraid that my phone instructions might not be adequate....

After I got there, I found out that the patient's lab values were borderline. So we wound up not doing the angiogram after all, just an exam looking for leaking blood in his abdomen.

So I came on home. Karen was back by then, and we started watching The Notebook. I'd read the book several months ago, so there were no surprises... but damn, was that a tear-jerker! So was the book, of course.

A tear-jerker that makes you think... that's even worse.

Which reminds me of something in my archives...http://nilknarf.net/j/199806/980602.htm... took me a while to find that. Don't try to go to the link in the first paragraph, it's dead, and I have no idea what it was about, and I'm sorry about that.

Anyway, it's something that still bothers me... because I see it in the future, as well as in the past, and I really don't want to think about my world that way, but I just can't help it.

There are just as many mean people out in the world now as there were in 1940, in fact there are probably more.

I can now ascribe these described events to religion, however, and I couldn't in 1998.

Something else that's been bothering me....

It is commonly said that one should respect other's religions and ideas... something that I've long wondered about.

Respect... that's a big word.
To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.
To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.
To relate or refer to; concern.

This is completely silly. Is the fact that someone thinks that 2+2=7 something that I should respect? If someone thinks that I am going to (their) hell is that idea worthy of respect? Are they worthy of respect for thinking that?

Should I respect the fact that they have talked to (some) god and that he has given them the key to (their)heaven and that they know how he wants the world to be, what we should eat and who we should fuck and how we should fuck them?

And often it is said that religion is *such* a comfort to those who believe.

And yes, it may well be that.

I would feel really good, O-so-good, if I could really believe that every day when I woke up that I would win the lottery that day.

And I would be O-so-stupid.

It would be so cool to believe that I will be re-united with my sister Linda, in heaven since 1956. So cool, 'cause I loved her so much.

And I would be O-so-stupid.

No, I no longer respect religion, in any of it's guises.

And I do abhor it, for it serves to guide the world, and the world, it is going so desperately wrong.

Common sense could save the world, but the first step of being religious is to shun common sense.

The intellect serves us humans well.

And it serves religion not at all.

And religion, religion is getting the upper hand.

The intellectuals have been destroyed before, and we will be again.

And yes, I'm stretching the facts a little, I'm not really an intellectual, just a pretender.

A pretender who believes that truth, truth will out, sometime. I want it to be now, but I know better.

Maybe, maybe this time will be different.

This is my faith: this time will be different.

Maybe this time the voices of light can overcome the voices of darkness... those 89% of the world who believe in gods.

There are those who believe in Armageddon... want it, want it now. They have no feelings for the rest of the world, they don't care about the rest of the world, they just want... to be saved.

And they have power.

The power to destroy the world.

And they want to use that power... they are champing at the bit to use that power.

Go look at Countdown. Tell me you're not scared of these motherfuckers.

Arrgh!

A little primal scream there... and yes, I'm glad that Howard Dean is leading the Democrats.

I hope that that can become my way... but I have my doubts.