ARCHIVES - 1996 to FOREVER

A *real* poet would not stop until he (or she) had brewed the poem down and made it work in the accepted way. Alas, I am not a poet, I only have dreams of being so.

I'm too lazy to conform, I guess that's the problem.

I stop too soon; this has always meant the demise of my many goals.

But no, my goals, they are not dead, just quiescent, waiting for the day:

The day when I can catch a bass over 12 pounds;

The day when I can write a novel;

The day when I can reconcile my life;

The day when I can *really* play a guitar;

The day that I can *really* play a keyboard;

The day when I can tell myself:"I am happy with my life; I can die happy now."

None of those things are close at hand, I'm afraid.

And I must echo the sentiment of the one who said, "I can't die yet, I have too much to do!"

Back to real life.

I finally got to sleep around 04:30. I was wired, expecting to hear from the hospital; bad things happen on Friday nights, after al, and I have witnessed many of them.

And even with no chemicals, no caffeine, the adrenaline of anticipation kept me awake.

I did spend a goodly part of that time in bed, trying to sleep, but all that I really accomplished was keeping Karen from having a good nights' sleep, I'm afraid.

And then the beeper went off at 06:32: the hospital, of course.

I called back, and told the tech to call the CT tech that was coming on at 07:00... I was really incapable of going in at that time, especially since I had an out. It would have been 07:00 before I got there, after all. And I was off call at 07:00.

The fact that I would have made another $50 didn't even enter into the equation at that time.

And I immediately went back to sleep.

I woke up about 09:30 or so, when Karen was getting up, and she gave me a nice backrub, she said. I don't remember it at all, dammit.

And it was 13:30 when I finally got out of bed.

And it was a pleasant day outside, and I got zero accomplished.

Finished watching a movie, and played some music. Karen went swimming at Kims', and we got Pizza Hut for supper.

About 19:00, the tech that was on call called: the hospital was preparing for disaster victims. There was a fire at a major hotel, with many victims and many that were being rescued. I told him that I was available and to call me if I was needed. Most fire victims wouldn't need CTs, of course. But the rescuers would be apt to get injured, falling off of ladders and having things collapse on them, so there was a possibility there.

He called back a half-hour later... seems that there were many rumors going around, but the most likely one was that a meth lab exploded, and everyone involved was not accepting treatment, and the fire was well contained and that there were no peripheral injuries.

And that was good. Disasters are exciting, but I would much rather that they happened at least several states away.

Karen and I were gonna watch Bowling for Columbine, but it seems that it was on a channel that we don't pay for, so we didn't. I went downstairs and wrote some music instead, and Karen read.

Which reminds me... the local movies are gonna finally show Fahrenheit 9/11... Karen said that it must be all of those letters to the editors in the newspapers, but I think that it's because they saw all of that money flying out the door going to Lawrence and other venues. Bastards.