Ow, ow, ow and ow! Dentist. Hurt me, he did, and then he came back and hurt me some more. Yep. took him two rounds of local antethetic before I got numbed. But now all of those holes are hurtin'. This too will pass. It's hard to look into a rosy future when your mouth hurts, though. And damn, I just yawned... I thought my mouth couldn't hurt any more than it did, but now it does. Man, I hate it when I whine. There are people out there with genuine pain, and here I'm babbling about needle-holes. I'm a jerk. So I'll whine about not sleeping last night then. I kept waking up, if I ever really went to sleep. I guess that I got too well-rested at Mom's, heh. That was nice, though. Work wasn't really bad, just boring today. One thing that I haven't emntioned yet... I found out last week that the hospital has bought the PACS system that I've been talking about for five years. So they will soon need to hire someone. So I'm again torn asunder... what to do, what to do? I haven't been pursueing the traveling tech thing lately, I've got my name in several places, but I haven't been bugging them... 'cause I really don't know which way to go. Part of this is the ennui that has had me in its' grasp for the last "Hey, wait a minute! *That's* depression!" you cry. Well, yes and no. Yes, it's what people commonly associate with depression, but no, it's not, it's a separate and complete entity in my life. I know my depression, and I know what it feels like all too well. That is under control, I'm not letting that beast loose again. I know where it lives and I've got its' number. I said something off the cuff this morning to an old friend... something to the effect that it doesn't matter how well you play the game of life, you die anyway. I said it with a wry smile, because it's somewhat funny... but in my cold heart I know that it's truth. That truth does not keep me from being happy... I'm one of the happiest people that I know, and there are very few things that vould change that. But being happy does not hide from me the truth, and I will not give truth the power to make me unhappy. Smile, smile, smile! Pretty simple, heh. ANd that's just part of my brain.... I'm on call tonight, and I really hope that I don't get called, 'cause I'm going to bed right now and I want to sleep all night.
coupla years. Not really depression or associated with depression, but just a general weariness with the world.