Up early, I was... called in at 07:30 for an ER patient. I will be in to the hospital many more times today, I just have that feeling... nobody else that does CTs comes in until 14:30. First, the news: more bombings. I'm beginning to think that there isn't an answer, that all of the palestinians want to kill all of the jews, and they're willing to die to accomplish this. I have said before that we should see what happens after Arafat is dead, but I don't think that we have to wait. Not only are the suicide people eager to give their lives to the cause, their mothers and fathers are cheering them on! They are not going to change. Islam is not going to change. Muslims will continue to hate people of any other religion, wherever they are, whoever they are. muslims will continue to kill people of any other religion, wherever they are, whoever they are. They aren't the only religion with this characteristic... most of them are that way. It's just that they are the most obvious at this point in time. So, what to do? Neither side will stop until the other side is gone. I will vote for the Israelis. When I was talking to brother Dan yesterday, he said that I was angry at religion, and I kinda laughed at that idea... but he was right. I am angry at religion for being so divisive and fucking up my world. I want a perfect world, and religion isn't going to allow that. It's not just the killing... it's the whole idea of religion. Manipulating people by telling them that there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, if only they follow the rules. I'm angry because I know that there's no pot of gold there, only dust. Religion is generally despicable because it gives people false hope. It is specifically despicable because every religion teaches that it is the only one, and that all others are false religions... and those who belong to false religions aren't fit to live. Some religions are more pro-active than others on this issue, but it's always there. I am also angry at religious people... 'cause they have something that I never can have, something that I never have had... belief. It doesn't really mater that their belief is false, it makes their lives easier, in most cases. In some cases, belief pulls people through whereas otherwise they would have faltered. Belief is strong, not because there's a god somewhere that really *likes* people who believe in him/her/it, but because people are strong, much stronger than they think that they are. If they believe that they will be defeated, they surely will be... if they believe that they cannot be defeated, they have a chance. I believe in myself, and I know how woefully mortal I am. I can be defeated, although I haven't been yet... or if I have, I've lived on in ignorance. I do have a problem with my attitude toward religion, though. I am not proud of myself for my condescending attitude, for instance. But the only thing that I know to do about it is to stay quiet, and that doesn't work very well for very long. And I really try, like the bible says, to hate the sin, not the sinner... only the way I read it, it's hate religion, not the religious. Honestly, most of the time, when I think about it, I think that religion is just plain silly. I mean, do grown people *really* believe this stuff? How can they, and still apply reason to other parts of their lives? Is this an inappropriate message for an Easter morning? Not here, it isn't. It is also appropriate for the first entry of the seventh year of this journal. Tomorrow I will speak of my immortality. 19:50... I do like doing trauma stuff, though... that's my first love, professionally.
I know that at least some of them do... maybe even most of them, although that's stretching it a bunch. Is that belief just set off in a different part of their minds, hidden until Sundays and church holidays?
Jeez! I have been at the hospital *all* day long, and I'm beat! One patient after another after another... I got to leave finally at 19:00. We had a trauma come in at about 13:30 and I did a zillion films on the two guys that we got via lifestar... I even got to go do some x-rays on them, it was that busy. Even without the traumas, I would have been there all day, only I could've paced myself a little slower.