I was in bed yesterday by 08:15 and went right to sleep. Cognizant of the fact that I was on call starting at 16:30, I set my alarm for 14:30 so I would have time to shower before I got called.
I must've shut the alarm clock off, because I didn't wake up until 17:30 when Karen got home and listened to the messages on the machine... luckily, I didn't get into trouble because there weren't any patients... they just wanted to make sure that I was awake.
I did get a call about 18:00 though, so I had to go in to do that... it was a pretty simple exam and I was home by 18:55, but Karen and Kim had just left to go out to eat and I missed them. Karen left a note, but I really didn't feel like going to Ruby Tuesday, it's far from being one of my favorite places.
Karen did bring home a hamburger, though... it was pretty good. She's gotten the hamburger and the salad bar and she ate mostly salad so I got the good stuff.
I went back to bed about 22:45 and slept until 04:30, so I'm officially caught up on sleep. I think.
20:22...
I got a pager today. I've been wanting one for quite a while, but yesterday convinced me that I needed one. Especially since I'll be taking call frequently. The number, for those of you who are interested, is (785)231-2107.
While I was out, I went to Sam's, and they had grass seed at a reasonable price, so I bought $50 worth and put it out as soon as I got home. While I was contemplating raking the yard to cover the seed up, Tyler came in.
I was really glad to see him, although he'd been obviously drinking. We did a whole lot of talking, and he's ready to do the sober routine now, I think.
He's been sick since November, with a chronic cough and now he's getting pain in his lower chest and coughing up green stuff, probably bronchitis. I took him over to Med-assist, where I used to work, and my old buddy Dr. Ron Huffman was there. It was really good to see him again, I really miss working with him.
Anyway, he gave Tyler some Zithromax and an inhaler and Tyler seemed to be breathing better and feeling better when he left a few minutes ago.
I really hope that Ty can do it this time... it's rough. I'll help him all that I can, of course, but it's gotta come from him. But I do think that he's ready, readier than he was a year ago anyway. I remember trying to break that alcoholic cycle more than a few times before I finally did it.
His main problem is depression, though, so I got him started on some celexa that I had left over... I'm gonna make an appointment with my doc in a coupla weeks to get him using it legally, I think that the sobriety will have worked (or not) by then.
Yeah, I don't sound too sure about him, do I? It's just that I've been there, did that, and it's hell. He's got his youth going for him, though, and he can be strong-willed when he wants to... and he's a very intelligent kid, intellectually he knows how to get there. Emotionally is a whole different thing, though.
I believe that your emotional maturity stops when you start drinking/doping, and Ty's been doing that for five years... of course, I did it for... what? twenty years? What a waste! Anyway, maybe it won't be as hard for him as it was for me... I certainly hope not, anyway.
Angst... it would be so much easier if we could not be realistic about life in general. Some of don't choose the easy way, mostly because we can't. Real is all that there is, and we can't fool ourselves that it's different.
Reality sucks.
Get over it.
Get on with your life, it's all that you have.
Smile. Laugh. Love...
O'yeah! Tyler got his hair cut. Looks great, doesn't it?
I went out about 10:30 to do some errands, and missed an e-mail from Shelly from Lawrence... we're going to try again, though, to get together next week. Now that we've decided to do it, it will get done!
