I only watched a small part of My Best Friend's Wedding... it didn't look like it would hold my interest. And, in fact, nothing was strong enough to hold my interest last night... I had to go to bed before the movie was over, and I don't even remember Karen coming to bed. I was, uncharacteristically, out like a light. That was about 22:00...
And here I am, up at 04:30. Got up to go to the bathroom and went back to bed but I was unable to get back to sleep. I think that it was the cats wanting to snuggle... two cats, Cowboy and Sam, the gray cat. Except that they are both very territorial, and finally one of them realized that the other was on the bed too, or maybe it was the other way around.
They exchanged hisses and growls and one of them launched himself off of the bed, using my thigh as a launch pad. That pretty well did it for extra sleep for me. I was way awake by the end of that.
And Karen didn't budge. Damn, that woman makes me mad sometimes. It just isn't fair. I know, I know, she has a clear conscience, and she's a wonderful person, but still...
I spent many years resenting the fact that I needed to sleep, and I built up years and years of a sleep deficit. I think that the fact that for years and years I drank myself into a stupor contributed to that deficit, and for about ten years after I quit drinking I continued on the same course with the same philosophy... my years are too short, and I need to make the most of the time that I have.
So, I have just relatively recently figgered out that I spent a lot of time being wrong. Sleep is wonderful, and you can't live life even reasonably well without it.
And it's just been since June this year that I've really been able to get a good night's sleep, and now I appreciate it even more. That C-PAP machine, and the drug that controls the leg twitches, are, quite simply, wonderful.
I'm still getting used to the C-PAP, and as time goes by it seems to be more natural. The nap that I took Friday was not as good as it should have been, because I didn't use the C-PAP, and I felt that I really hadn't slept at all.
But back to the sleep philosophy, and drinking... or rather, not drinking... I had a lot of things wrong when I was drinking. I've found that over the years I've been able to reconcile most of them, but occasionally another one will pop up, like the sleep thing.
I think that my occult reasoning was that I couldn't drink when I was sleeping, thus the time was wasted.
Once again, proving the basic premise... drinking makes you stupid.
And it takes a long time for that stupid to get out of your system.
I hope to get it all out before I die. I need to hurry.
More mundane things... I want chocolate! Yes, I do.
There is a big hole in my stomach where the chocolate wants to be. It will not be assuaged by phony substitutes, either. It's a lot like any other hunger, but it is one that I can overcome.
We got some stuff yesterday at Sam's (the Walmart bulk discount place, for those of you who might not know...) for moments like these... non-fat bars from Quaker's. Yeah, they taste good, but they don't hit the hole.
I just feel generally hungry, in fact. I have since I got up, and I don't usually feel hungry for several hours after I awake. And it's not like it's painful or anything like that... just not really comfortable. And I like comfortable...
I'm about 30-40 pounds overweight right now, with ten pounds of that coming within the last year. I should be able to lose those 40 pounds within a year, I think, and if this uncomfortable feeling, this hunger, is as bad as it gets, it should be relatively easy. Compared to quitting drinking or smoking, that is.
And a worthwhile goal. Who knows, perhaps eating healthier may induce me to quit smoking. That would be good, heh.
OK... back to sleep for a little while. More later, maybe...
And it's later... 15:40, to be exact, and I just synchronized with the atomic clock.
Did I mention that it's a relatively wonderful day, weather-wise? Well, it is. It was raining earlier, and I turned off the AC and turned on the attic fan and opened up the house when the sun came up. 73F, it was then, with a forecast high of 84.
Unfortunately... it's probably closer to 90 right now, but even if it isn't, the AC is going back on, 'cause it's really humid.
Been hitting FTP sites again, getting the goodies. While that's going on, I'm reading up on the Atlanta nutcase. Seems that he was a church-goin' guy, and left references to Jehova on the bodies of his family.
This could've been prevented, of course, if the Scientific Method were posted prominently in all of the churches...
OK, it's a cheap shot. So sue me.
And... I've got a problem. There is this site, Let me know!
OK, that's all for today...