Hah!

No bitching about how hard I worked last night... 'cause I didn't! It was a reverse make-up night. Making up for the night before.

Feedback from the other techs at work indicates that I've got a lock on the CT job.

Right.

History has proved my well-wishers wrong twice... once on the supervisor's job, once on the computer job.

I did get all of my inservices done last night, though... watched the tapes, filled out the questionnaires, just exactly the same as last year, and the year before that... boring shit.

And I got tired again, too. Tired is the way I live, and I guess that I should learn to live with it. I was hoping that the CPAP would be a panacea, but I guess not. But I do feel better in general, and my legs don't seem to be hurting as much, even after Thursday night, so the program is working... just not as well as I'd wished.

What I want... what I really want... is a twenty-year-old body and my present mind.

O'yeah, I'd like for MY body to be young too... and the 20-year-old body has to be a female.

Don't want much, huh.

The more that I think about it, the more I appreciate my evaluation... the supervisor said some really nice things about my work and about me, and she repeated some of what the other people had written... not a bad word in there. Of course, I picked half of the people for the peer review, but I have no idea who the other three were.

But... even though I feel appreciated, and appreciative, and I'm happy with the raise... I still have to work too damned hard generally.

Damn, I hope that I get that CT job. It would be nice having help moving those fat patients around... there's plenty of help during first shift to get things like that done, whereas I pretty much have to do it myself on third, unless the nurses aren't busy.

The problem is... there are three nurses, and if I'm busy, they are usually busy too. So I've found many ways to get the work done myself, with no danger to the patient, but often with a lot of wear and tear on my bones.

Another thing that I've been thinking a lot about lately... I've always tried to immediately establish a rapport with my patients. It makes me feel better about helping them, and it makes them much more cooperative, so it's easier for me to do what needs to be done.

So frequently, I'll see my coworkers go into a room with a patient and just hating having to be there and hating to have to work... the patients pick up on this really well. These techs have a bunch of shitty patients... in fact, the patient has to go out of their way to be civil (and so do I, being around people like this...)

It just really makes it hard on everyone... no bennies whatsoever.

Now for the really dumb philosophical question... why are these people so dumb?

Wait... don't answer that.

I just get upset at myself that I can't seem to convert these people. Well, I can, to some degree, when I'm working directly with them... but it doesn't last. Being a good example just doesn't seem to work, and I can't think of any other way of getting to them, dammit.

It's frustrating... so I don't think about it very often, I just go along and do the best that I can.

Anyway... it's getting late, and I need to go to sleep. Unfortunately, Liquid Web (the server) seems to be down, so I can't put this up right yet... hopefully, it'll be up when I get up this evening...