What a relief!

I'm not just lazy, I'm not just too old to be working so hard... no, I'm SICK!

So now I feel better about the whole thing.

JD and I got the light and the fan hung yesterday, then I took a two-hour nap and felt much better. Karen got home from work and watched her show (I didn't screw it up yesterday!) and we decided to do nothing, and we did it quite well. I started feeling crummy again, so I took a shower and really contemplated shaving my beard off again, but I decided against it. Occasionally I get this freaky urge to be clean-shaven, but it never lasts more than a few days, and generally nobody notices anyway. I mean, nobody.

I felt much better after showering, though, so I went to bed and read a bit... one of those Steven King books, Rosie something-or-another. I didn't read very long, though.

So, at 01:00 I woke up... I was actually shaking. I was freezing to death. And weird, weird dreams... giant things rolling over me, keeping me from breathing. I'm a lot like almost everyone else.... I really like breathing. So there was a panic factor there, too.

Took a coupla ibuprofen and tried to sleep, but tossed and turned instead, alternately sweating and teeth-chattering. I finally got outa bed about 06:00.

And I feel better sitting up, I think. I believe that what I have is the bronchitis again but maybe a little pneumonia in there too, that would explain the fever. My right chest feels a little bit heavy, probably the germs are in the right middle lobe again... seems to be a favorite target of theirs. I need to see what happens, maybe go get some antibiotics at Med-assist.

Scott Liles keeps an excellent journal; Scott is a physician who just got married and who is finishing up his internship. Anyway, Scott has a lot bigger balls than I do... he actually writes about his patients. Sure, he gives them fake names and all, but still... and I guess that he doesn't worry about getting sued or chastised for breaking patient confidentiality.

So why am I so wimpy about it?

One of the most interesting things about my life is my work... and I mostly can't... or haven't... talked about it here. Other than noting, repeatedly and strenuously, what it does to my legs and my body.

I dunno. I'll have to think about this one for a few days. But in the meantime, go read Scott's stuff... I guarantee you'll enjoy it!

Kosovo... are those people over there just fucking crazy, that they need to kill each other? I don't understand. I don't want to understand. I just want them to quit it. Not likely, until the last one of them dies, I guess.

From what I gather, there's a civil war going on, but instead of just killing the rebels, the Serbs are killing everyone that has the same racial characteristics as the rebels. And the rebels themselves are just as bad. Kill everyone who looks Serbian.

Maybe what we're doing is just hastening the end, the end where they are all dead and will trouble us no more?

I can't figger out what's right or wrong, and that really bothers me. I think that everyone who is not directly involved is in the same boat... so we gotta DO SOMETHING! Right or wrong... we have to act, else we would regard ourselves as non-humanitarian. Forget the fact that there are plenty of other places where about the same thing is going on... China is too big, hell, we've already been to SE Asia (and got our asses kicked)... Africa is a morass that we would never get out of...

Man, I'm glad that I don't have to make those decisions.

In the meantime, I'm going back to bed.