While you were sleeping....
Log-like, I slept eleven hours Thursday... from 08:30 to 19:30. And I feel rested, finally. I don't even remember getting up to pee, but I know that I must've. Eleven hours is a long time.
So I don't have much to talk about, as far as the things that happened today. So I'll put on my faux-philosopher hat.
It's not right, and it's not fair, that the only alternative to growing old is dying young. And from where I sit, I've forfeited the first alternative. So what can I do?
I'm going to try to live S-L-O-W. Savor every awake minute... savor every sleeping minute. Associate with people and machinery that move fast, so I can live slower. Fast computers, fast cars, fast women. Fast friends. Well, maybe not fast women and fast cars... been there, done that. Not my style. Slow thinking... I can do that. I've been at it a long time, had plenty of practice.
Or maybe I should just associate with slow people, and set my pace by them.
Problem is... I think that dying is going to be a lot like a dental appointment... you make it for as far in the future as you can, then forget about it, don't worry about it... then bam! it's here! And you think, "Gee, I didn't think this was coming up this soon!" but there it is.
Living with coronary artery disease makes me think of things like this a lot. I know that any minute the big one could come along. Occasionally, I'll get a twinge in my chest (just like everyone else does, it's not necessarily related to heart disease) and think "Sh*t, this is it!" but so far I have been wrong. Sometimes I was pretty close to being right, though.
And now this is going to degenerate into a (shudder) philosophical lecture: I'm not the only one who is in danger of dying at any given moment, even though my odds are better of doing that than yours probably are. Everyone should be savoring every moment; 'cause if you don't, you're losing them. They're getting by you and you're not enjoying them. You're wasting them.
And the same goes for people that you love: let them know that you love them... you might not ever have the opportunity again.
This has been, so far, a relatively slow night at the hospital, made even slower by the fact that I somehow turned my pager off accidentally. I went up to lunch about 01:00, then went downstairs to the bathroom about 01:20; sitting there, I heard an overhead page, (They never page overhead at night except for emergencies) but I couldn't understand the words, but that made me think that I should check
my pager. Sure enough, it was off, and they were trying to hunt me down. So I sheepishly went over to the Emergency Department and let them know that my pager was off. Seems that they were getting ready to do a search, thinking I'd collapsed somewhere. I'm usually very prompt and reliable about answering pages. Anyway, they had three patients waiting for me by this time.
Humility also makes time go slower...
New features coming up on nilknarf.net... a guestbook that works. And a search Nilknarf! facility that works. (These don't work on the networksplus.net site!) At least I hope that they will work, they're advertised to do so. I kept a guestbook for a while, shortly after I started this...l-page, I think it was... and they were down more than they were up. This one, however, is CGI-based, and on my virtual server, so it should be up when nilknarf.net is up... which better be almost all of the time.
And the search facility will be helpful in finding out how many times I repeat myself, which I really don't worry about doing much any more. I kinda figger that if I haven't mentioned something for a year or so, it's OK to mention it again, especially if it's pertinent. As if anything on these pages is actually pertinent to anything other than my life...
It will be interesting to see how frequently I mention sleep, or that I'm tired, or sex. That should be, rather, how infrequently I mention sex...
So Frank Sinatra died... I don't think that will affect my life any, though...
It's very humid today... only about 75F right now, but it'll get up to about 85F before evening. We were supposed to have thunderstorms last night, but they missed us, but I just got a glance at the radar and there are some moving in right now... I hope to get to the bank and home before it breaks loose.
Just barely, that's how I made it home. Then we had some 50MPH winds for a few minutes, then it rained for a while, now it has stopped. I really like storms, have I mentioned that before?
I like sleeping too... and now that the storm's over, I'm gonna do that.