24 APRIL 1998

Friday, 24 April, 1998 08:27

No "middle of the night" tonight... I got my ass ran off again. Well, I say again, but I guess it's the first time that it's happened this week...
Contemplating the
insides of my eyelids...
but I'm really tired, anyway.

So, I came home and killed dandelions. The guy that did the smear campaign on dandelions (most likely the same guy that figgered out how to kill them... y'know, create a market...) needs to go to work for the anti-Clinton people. They aren't doing so good right now.... or have they ever?

Anyway, most of this entry has been written over the last several days as part of the Diary Collaboration, which has been revived by two wonderful women. So, without further ado...

  1. Is there anything that you intentionally omit from your journal? Why?

    I do intentionally omit some stuff, mostly in defference to Karens' wishes. We do live a life jointly, and even though I don't mind writing about everything, she does not feel the same way about it. That is her right, and I am bound to respect her privacy.

    I also try to omit a lot of the day-to-day stuff that is common to us all... everything from the ingestion of food to bowel movements. Unless, of course, I can find a way to make them amusing...

  2. Don't want to look at the pimples and warts?

    I probably spend way too much time looking at pimples and warts. I really dislike those journals who are overly self-disparaging, just as much as I dislike those who are consistently depressing. To each his own, I guess, but I don't have to read it so I don't.

  3. Rather take some secrets silently to the grave?

    And what would be the fun of that?

  4. Do you write to please an internal editor?

    Of course... but my internal editor is very inconsistent. If this were a money-making deal, I would pay an editor... nah, I would never be able to post any entries at all, then.

  5. How honest are you?

    Much too honest for my own good, I think. My innate honesty is something that I can't seem to leave behind. Besides, I'm a really poor liar. I used to try (when I was much younger) and I would always screw up and get in trouble. And my general philosophy on honesty is that once a person lies to me, I can never trust them again. Once a liar, always a liar. This has made for some very strained relationships in the past, believe you me!

So... I've been doing this for two+ years now. You would think that I would've learned a lot from it.

You would be right. Simply through journalling, I have a lot more insight to who I am and where I want to go. And, because this journal is online, I am forced to be honest.

And, since I'm into being honest... I need to say this: This is still a helluva lot of fun.

And yes, there is a lot of vanity involved. I like to think that there isn't... but I'm not allowed to. That honesty thing again, you see.

And a different picture of myself every day? Talk about vanity...
It's like I want to be a star.

Do you have a problem with that? I didn't think so. Most people want to be stars, you know. Few actually get to do it, and those that do generally f**k it up. Well, I think that I'm better than that. I won't f**k it up. I will be gracious and pleasant and forgiving. And I won't change... no, I'll still retain my honesty, my dignity... and somehow I will get my hands on half of the money in the world.

You won't regret making me a star, and I won't regret being one. It'll work out really well.

So?....
I'm waiting....
still waiting...
Still waiting....
Still waiting....

Thanx for being here!

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