Another boring evening/night. Karen watched TV, I played on the computer. I can't wait for our vacation so we can get out of our ruts.

Speaking of which... maybe it's just the weather... which is once again rainy and gloomy... I seem to be in a depressed pattern here. No joi de vri or whatever the hell that is. No ambition. Just want to sleep, but I can't do enough of that. Bored with everything. All the journals that I read are boring. The stuff I'm doing with Photoshop is boring. TV is boring. Smoking is boring.

I need to see the fucking sun every little once in a while, dammit!

I go outside to smoke, I see a thousand projects waiting for the sun... the mud needs to dry, the grass needs to grow, the leaves from last fall need to dry up so that they can blow away... I need to pick up the debris from the trees... I need to... I need to... I need to... get the fuck away from it all for a while!

Arizona!

I need to get away from my attitude, get away from all of the things that I need to be doing and can't bring myself to do. I need to write a resume. I need to leave my fear of change somewhere behind me, find that joy of living that I normally have. I need to get away from this computer.

I need to get some sleep so that I can go to work tonight.