Nilknarf Journal

12 JANUARY 1998

Monday, 12 January, 1998 07:06

There have been a lot of unresolved references here in the last several months, and I'm sorry about that. The situation is now out in the open: Kim and her kids Packy and Lacee have moved in with us on a "temporary" basis. This is the culmination of a few years of Kim being incredibly unhappy in her marriage.

The kids are both rather confused and unhappy about this change in their lives, as could be expected. I think that things will get worse for them before they start getting better. We all need to try to be understanding and helpful with them, especially me... I am not real tolerant in the best of times.

There will be overcrowding and bathroom conflicts here, but I am sure that everything can be worked out eventually. Most of the bathroom conflicts will be between Karen and Kim... as I have pointed out before, I am very low-maintenance. More of a problem will be the kid's privacy. They are both used to having their own rooms, and there is not a lot of play space for them over here.

And yet another major problem is the basement. It would be nice to just let the kids down there, but it is chock-full of stuff that can hurt them... and stuff that I don't want broken. Many many temptations... but I have yet to convince Karen or Kim that they shouldn't be down there unsupervised. So I have to be an ogre and declare the area off-limits to the kids, which makes it even more tempting to them.

And the computer room is also pretty much off-limits to them too. As is our bedroom. Geez, this doesn't give them much room at all, does it? I think that what I need to do is clean up the basement and move all of the dangerous/precious stuff into a room that I can lock. This can be fairly easily done, probably within a couple of days.

A couple of other things: Kim/Steve... it's really hard for me to not take sides here. I like them both, but Kim is my daughter... well, not really, but you know what I mean. And Steve's main problem is alcohol. I do believe that he loves Kim and the kids... he is just stuck in an alcoholic rut, and it's really too bad. It's too bad for everyone who lets alcohol and other substances control their lives. But there are two ways out, and one of them is survivable, and many people have done it. Unfortunately, many people have to completely ruin their lives before they even realize that they have a problem. This is compounded by the people that they love thinking and acting like, "well, they just drink too much sometimes..." When someone is ruining their lives because of substance abuse, it not just too much sometimes... it's their whole life. And the lives of the ones that they love and the ones who love them.

And there is another man in Kim's life, too. I've mentioned Bob obliquely occasionally here before. I was very suspicious of Bob initially, but I have come to believe that he genuinely cares for Kim and the kids. I think that he and I will become good friends eventually... we've come a long ways already, in spite of my original feelings. He is a guy about my age, and he's had some trials, just as I have, and he's come out of them bowed but unbroken. Bob is also a regular reader here, but I wouldn't pull any punches anyway...