Monday, 22 December, 1997 18:54

It has been an interesting day.

Karen and I made up last night, had a nice long talk and all of that. She is a wonderful woman, and I love her very much. Most of the problem is that other people love her a lot, too, and she will try to please everyone.

So, once I start feeling ignored, instead of speaking up and asking for my turn, my martyr-self takes over. And simmers... and smolders... and finally explodes. Very very stupid. The problem is that I can't see that this is happening until after it happens. Maybe now that I've written it down, I can avoid it in the future... I still retain the capacity to learn shit... I hope!

I was up a couple times during the night again, naturally, and got to sleep for good around 05:00, but Karen came in and kissed me before she left, so I was up again... then I slept from 09:00 until 12:00; I awoke feeling very good and refreshed.

I had some errands to run, go to the post office and to Sam's. So I called Marva and we arranged to meet at Denny's again for coffee at 14:30. I got there right on time, and Marva wasn't there. About two minutes after I'd gotten my coffee, the waitress comes back and tells me that I have a phone call. It was Marva, and she'd had to return the car that she had borrowed because she'd blown the engine on hers. So, she invited me over to her apartment to talk and drink coffee.

As I mentioned before, Marva is a diagnosed schitzophrenic. Well, her "voices" have come back, most likely caused by holiday stress; she says it's always worse before xmas. So we talked and drank coffee until about 16:45, when I finally noticed what time it was.

During this period, her SO came home from work, so I finally got to meet him. He seems like a really nice guy, but he also seemed fairly suspicious of my presence. I can kinda understand that, because Marva is a beautiful and intelligent woman. He will come to understand our relationship in time, though.

Platonic relationships are really hard to maintain, and I have known few men who can sustain one. I realized a number of years ago that there are many women that I would like to be friends with, and I thought that being friends, close friends, included sex. It didn't take me long to conclude that I was wrong. Sex changes a relationship, and there is no return from that change.

This is not to say that I don't have sexual feelings about my female friends: it only means that I do not act on them. And once in every platonic relationship (and I've had, and have, many... usually with beautiful, intelligent women) I have to convince my female friend that we would lose more than we would gain by having sex.

So! That's that...

In other news... my counter is about to reach 6666. Let me know if it's you... there is a worthless prize involved!

Marva mentioned that her SO's brother was looking for a kitten, and Karen and I discussed it, and I think that our precious is going to get a new home. He is way too rambunctious for our older cats, both of which are ailing right now anyway. Cowboy has an infected front leg, probably from a fight, and Midnight hasn't been eating for a week or so; can't figger out what's the matter with her, but she has lost a lot of weight, and I'm worried about her.

Enough for today...