Another really shitty night's sleep! This is getting wearisome. Nightmares on a regular basis... and I can't even remember them, either! So, besides losing sleep, I don't get any of the enjoyment. A bummer all of the way around.

Tyler and I are going fishing this morning at Betsy's pond. We probably won't get out there until about 08:00, though. We need to take his truck in to the mechanic at 06:30 so if we can't get there at dawn there's really no hurry.

Another fine morning of fishing! No, we didn't catch many fish, Tyler caught five and I caught two... but it was fun just being with him anyway. I did something that I shouldn't've... I bought a trolling motor. 45 pounds of thrust... makes that little boat go pretty good. That motor is more than twice the size of the one that I was using before. It's kinda fun... like a ten-foot-long speedboat. Well, not quite ;-)

And good news on Tyler's truck, too. He was really worried that he had blown the engine. I was pretty sure that he hadn't, that it was something like a timing chain or maybe a blown head gasket. Well, what it is was some valve that recirculates the exhaust through the manifold when the RPMs are up out on the highway. It was stuck wide open, the guy said. A new one is about $50 and there are none in stock in town, so he ordered it. In the meantime, he pulled off the vacuum hose that kept it open. So it runs great now, Tyler said after he drove it home. We will take it in to get the window fixed tomorrow, so all that needs to be done is replacing the stereo. The part for the engine will be in Wednesday, and it'll take about ten minutes to put it on.

Tyler stayed up all night again, and is planning on staying up all day now too. He's trying to get turned around so we can spend some time together. Unfortunately, Wednesday I will need to turn around going the other way... That reminds me, Tuesday afternoon I need to go over and install some memory in Eileene's computer. I need to call her and get her address again, it's been about a year since I've been over there... She got a ZIP drive too, but she's already got that installed. I really need to think about doing that too.

Sometimes... it feels like I have two (or rather three) jobs. The hospital, Med-Assist, and the WWW. Not that I really feel that any of them are "jobs", they are all fun. But the amount of time that I spend on the net probably equals the time I spend working for money. Not that this is bad: time is supposed to be spent wisely, and I feel that I am doing that, at least for my purposes.

The main problem with that is... the "my purposes" phrase. I have not been very considerate of Karen lately. And I'm ashamed of myself for that.

After Ty and I came back from fishing today, I spent some time, probably 90 minutes, on the net. I had thought about cleaning the kitchen, but that's about as far as I got with it. After I got off the net, I took a shower and was feeling kinda tired, so I lay down and took a nap.

I got up about 18:30 to find a spotless kitchen and a furious wife. Well, all of you married people out there know what this means...(no, not "No Nookie!" I'm talking about married people here!) The Silent Treatment.

Karen works 40 hours a week, just like I do. She works just as hard as I do, probably even harder. She has a lot more people to work with, hence more stress is involved. She is just as fatigued as I am when she gets home.

But... she does the bulk of the cooking and cleaning. While I sit on my lazy ass and play on the computer, or go fishing.

This is not fair.

It has been mentioned before, both here and in other places, that life is not fair.

However, it behooves us to endeavor to make life more fair for those that we love. Well, not more fair, maybe, but easier.

I have not been doing this lately. I have not even been doing my fair share. This has been going on, and getting worse, for the last two years. This does not make me feel good about myself. In fact, I feel really shitty right now. Shitty enough to actually make a resolution to do something about it. And I will.

What I do for entertainment is not more important than what Karen does for entertainment. Cooking (in most cases) and cleaning are not Karen's idea of entertainment. But she does them while I play.

OK, this is a hobby. I really enjoy it. It does make me a better person(?), a lot like watching educational TV. But it's still a hobby. And I need to take time out and do the necessary stuff, and not let it pile up on the woman that I love.

Starting right now.