Karen told me as we were going to sleep last night that it would be nice to get up in the morning and read the paper together, so I'm waiting for her to get up. I've been up since 07:00, and I wanna read the paper, but I'm gonna wait anyway.
My ISP, KSPress, is down in a very strange way. It seems that I can access *.HTM files, but not *.HTML files. So I can go anywhere on my site except for the main page. And I can go anywhere on KSPress (if I know the address) except for their main page. It has been this way since yesterday.
Speaking of yesterday... it was a bummer. Like I said, Karen went to work at 08:00; I worked on some HTML stuff, then about 10:00 I noticed that I had a headache. The medication that I'm taking for my back precludes taking any other painkiller, so I decided to wait it out. The headache kept getting worse, though, so I went to bed about 12:30, after I had made a cigarette run. I was never able to go to sleep, though, just tossed and turned and suffered. Karen came home about 16:30 and was upset at me for being in bed all day... she had been out shopping (natch) with Kim and Lacee for a birthday present for Karla's birthday. Well, I was upset with her for going shopping instead of coming home after work, and the fact that I wasn't getting any sympathy for having a headache. She got on her bathing suit and went back over to Kim's to take a dip in the pool that we (we?) had bought for Lacee and Packy. She came home just before dark and we sat around feeling uncomfortable with each other for a while before we started talking. I just hate this part of being upset with someone... the waiting before the talking. Every time that this happens, (which is not very often) the more I think about it, the sillier my side of the argument seems and the stupider I feel.
Or maybe my feelings are just not that strong.
At any rate, our conflict was resolved satisfactorily; we both spent some time thinking deeply about our relationship, and our love becomes stronger because of this. So our arguments aren't bad, necessarily, because they make us think, and when we think about what we have together, we know that we can't take it for granted.
Taking a lover/wife/husband/whatever for granted is a very dangerous thing. At least, I think so, but perhaps that's because I'm insecure in all of my realtionships. On the other hand, perhaps my insecurity stems from the fact that I know that taking relationships for granted is dangerous. My insecurity, therefore, insures that I will take good care of my relationships. So I should feel really good about that. But if I allow myself to feel really good, I'll start taking things for granted....
I really hate it when I confuse myself with circular reasoning...
I'm afraid that Tyler is getting bored. I plan to start some projects today to alleviate those feelings; I have several two-man jobs that we can get done. The main one is the front deck project. I want to build a couple more benches and the porch swing dealy. Tyler went over to visit Lisa last night, but he didn't stay out very long. He's still sleeping, I guess I'll find out why when he wakes up.
Karen's sister Debbie called, Karen's mother will be coming up to stay with us for a few days, I guess. Deb and Ric have to go to KC for a meeting or something, and will drop her off and pick her up on the way back. Karen's mom, Betty is a very sweet lady, and I enjoy her company.
I just checked (11:41) and my ISP is now running properly. Hmmm... my counter hasn't moved since yesterday, I guess the welcome mat was rolled up and put away for a while. Anyway, it's time to get dressed and start doing some stuff... like getting Tyler out of bed!
Well, we got some runnin' around done, but very little in the way of work. We did help Karen do some re-arranging in the living/dining room, and I managed to hurt my back again.
It's HOT outside, and muggy. It's cool inside... so I've been working on my other pages, the ones that have been neglected for so long. I've got about everything re-done except for Nilky, and I just ran outa steam on that one, only got two done.
Going over the older files made me appreciate how much I've learned in the last year or so. That was some mighty clumsy HTML that I started out with!
More tomorrow....
Apparently Karen does the same thing, because the silence is always broken with each of us apologizing to the other at the same time. The one thing that I really dislike about myself is the fact that I will avoid conflict at almost any cost. I think that wimp is the word commonly used to describe a person with that characteristic. The real problem is that I am too fucking empathetic... I can see the other person's side so easily and clearly that it seems to over-ride my feelings.
I just hate this part of being upset with someone... the waiting before the talking.