Well, I guess that this is The Day again. What day? The day that I quit smoking forever. Again.

      I got up early again (04:20) and I had three cigarettes left in the pack that I bought yesterday. I had decided several days ago to quit buying cartons, so I've been buying single packs instead. So anyway, I smoked those three cigarettes while I was browsing the journals on Open Pages. Coughing my head off and sneezing and smoking. Then I went and put a patch on. Nicoderm 14 mg/day. I think that it (the patch) is mostly psychological, though. Physically, I've never suffered unbearably from nicotine withdrawal; it's always been my head that fucks it up for me. Although everything is physical... but that's another topic altogether. So I've got some mild tranks to use for that, plus this time I really mean it!

      I wish I had a dollar for every time that I've said that when referring to quitting smoking. This is a rash decision, spur-of-the moment thing. I am not prepared, but all the preparation that I've done in the past has been to no avail. So what the hell. I've also had goals in the past... three days, ten days, whatever. Not this time. Just today. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

      Hell with tomorrow; we'll see what today brings! My short-term goal is to keep busy, and that shouldn't be too hard. Lisa and I went to get gas (both vehicles were running on empty) and from there I went to the store to get milk and bread. Well, since I hadn't eaten, I wound up with a lotta stuff. I'm gonna get fat if I don't smoke! Ice cream, cookies... didn't get any candy, though. I've still got a lot left from last time. Let's see... when was that? I could look it up, but I don't wanna know. Probably ten times in the last year I've documented that I've quit smoking for the very last time.

      When I got back from the store, Lisa was fixing waffles, so I had a couple. I forgot to mention earlier that I hadn't eaten because some of the medication that I take has to be on an empty stomach, and naturally, some of it needs to be taken with food.

      One of the rules that I learned in my first stop-smoking class: don't get too hungry/angry/tired or you'll blow it. So that has to fit into my priorities today really high up. So I should sleep, eat (ice cream! Mint Chocolate Chip!) and not read yesterday's entry. I also shouldn't answer the phone, but I haven't been doing that lately either, 'cause I still can't talk above a whisper.

      Wow... it's damned near May! That means I need to get busy and make a May calender and write an April essay. Actually, I'm gonna re-arrange my index page a bunch, I never have liked it very much. Don't worry, I'm still only gonna have one calender on a page...

      This has been a beautiful day weather-wise, but not health-wise. I am just too drug-out to do anything. My antibiotics haven't kicked in very well yet. Still coughing and hacking. Tried to sleep, that didn't work at all. As soon as I lay down, I start coughing again.

      I did get some more work done on the front page; I've been trying to simplify it for quite a while, and I think that the menuing gadget that I got will do that very well. So if you didn't go by the front page on your way in, give it a shot on your way out and let me know what you think. Especially let me know if something doesn't work!