Say, what is this? An out-of-sequence middle-of-the-night? Yeah, you forgot that I had to work Friday night, didn't you? Well, I didn't. Got about four hours of sleep before I came in, and we were very busy until about 23:00, when my student Brian came in. Very dead since then. Yeah, that's the same Brian that got stuck on the elevator with me... we had to do a portable on the unit about 23:30, and he took the stairs while I brought the machine up in the elevator...

Still having general feelings of futility lately. Nothing really seems fun, and I like for everything I do to be fun. Can't blame it on lack of sleep, at least the last few days, that's about all that I've done. I can blame it on not feeling good, I guess. Still blowing yellow snot out of my head, the antibiotics are slow kicking in.

On the other hand, everything's really gravy since my first coronary in 1989. November the 15th, that was. I kinda forgot to celebrate it this year. Seven years that I wouldn't've had if I wasn't so fucking lucky. But I kinda associate being lucky with winning the lottery or something like that. I could stand a little of that kinda luck, too, since I'm still alive!

Then, again, having all of that money would confuse me even more than I already am.

I was kinda thinking that maybe I should increase my anti-depressive medication, but I'm going to wait a while on that. I need to remember that there are some depressing things in life, and that I shouldn't dwell on them like I sometimes do. Like, thinking about the futility of life gets me absolutely nowhere, I'm not going to have some excellent insight on it if I keep thinking about it, and there are very many pleasant things that I could be thinking about. So there! Straighten your ass out, Doug!

I get the same futile feelings when I think about religion, politics and the general state of the world. Worrying about things that I can't change. That's pretty worthless, too. Better things to think about: Karen, Lacee, my Compaq. Lacee has been so cute and loving lately, always wanting to kiss and hug both Karen and me.

It's also really nice having Lisa living with us. She is such a nice person. She's been working her butt off lately cleaning and cooking and all that stuff.

4:28 AM 12/7/96

I just found out that my ISP has changed access numbers. I was talking with Joe and Eileen and Joe asked me if I'd changed my number yet. First I've heard of it, sez I. Seems like they sent out an email about a week ago with the new number, and I never got it. About a year ago, they lost all of their accounts some way or another. I was originally set up as dfrankln@kspress.com (no "i") and when they re-set it, it was nilknarf@nilknarf.net. Anyway, I think that it's still wrong someplace in their customer database, but I can't convince them of that. Or, rather, I haven't been able to until now, because it really wasn't important to me. Now it's important!

I thought that it was strange last evening before I came to work... I couldn't get connected. Tried seven or eight times, then ran out of time. Now I know. I'm supposed to call Joe and get the number first thing in the morning. Then they'll get some really nasty email....